Although I'm excited to take on the academic challenges of junior year, I'm dreading reentering the high school social scene. Over the summer I get to pick and choose who I hang out with and who I avoid. I haven't really been avoiding anyone in particular, but I'm not especially eager to see everyone every day again.
Things I'm dreading about going back to school:
- the dances
- the painfully shallow conversations
- the drama
- the crazy amounts of homework
- the majority of the freshmen class
- the pressure to get really good grades because it's my junior year
- the class presentations (I always shake so much I can hardly stand and I'm almost always on the verge of being sick.)
I guess it's only fair to write what I'm looking forward to as well.
- new friends (we have some new kids in our class)
- hanging out with old/new friends (friends I've made over the summer and last year)
- participating in NHS
- going to basketball and football games
- being in two classes taught by my favorite teacher
- taking on the harder classes
- dual enrolling and getting college credit
- being in yearbook
- the high school retreat
- chapel every Friday
- going back to school with a new attitude and fewer insecurities
- being one of the upperclassmen
- being one year away from being a senior
- moving campuses and getting a locker for once
- getting to know the few freshmen that aren't annoying (;
So I guess I'm looking forward to a lot more than I'm dreading. I just need to take a deep breath, and trust that God has it all under control. He isn't going to send me back unprepared. I feel different, and I just know that this year is going to be different for me somehow. That isn't going to change just because it's something I want to happen. That's not how God works.
And I still have one week. I think I'll spend most of it praying about next year. Praying that it's different.